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18 June 2012 @ 08:43 pm
Canyon Dreams
The Benson Legacy

So I'm trying my hand at legacies again. This is probably going to be a text-heavy story, but there will be pictures with each update.      

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08 October 2011 @ 06:08 pm
[start nerdy rant]

Have become ridiculously obsessed with my recent FemShep in Mass Effect. Carin Shepard -- my first FemShep. I replayed her in ME1 and then imported the new save to ME2. Made her an Infiltrator and... wow.
Video games just do not get better than this.
I switched her to Ashley's texture just to see how it looked and had to modify her makeup because her blush suddenly looked way too dark for her skin. Her eyebrows darkened because Ashley's texture comes with eyebrows, but other than that... I like it. And it was a kickass playthrough because I decided to try it on Veteran and I made it through pretty easily. Maybe next time I'll play on Hard.
Because there will definitely BE a next time. I'm way too obsessed with the game to not play any Mass Effect until March, when ME3 comes out. I'm seriously considering getting the Collector's Edition. Cover of FemShep + all these other included things = awesome. Especially if I have a $50 giftcard to gamestop from surveys. So maybe I will.
[/end nerdy rant]

I'm scared. For AP gov. I might get a B. I have a lot of studying to do for this coming week (finals, ugh) and gov is my main concern. I may/may not have completed an assignment worth 50 points. If I didn't, my grade is going to drop dramatically. Ughhhh. I just hope I can scrape an A-. It would suck to go through three years of high school -- with harder classes than this one -- and not get anything worse than an A- and then to get a B in the beginning of senior year. It's just been a difficult time for me. My emotions have gone haywire and I could possibly be clinically depressed. Add senioritis to that and this year just seems like one big slump.

Well, we'll see. I hope I can fix my grade. :/

In happier news, National Novel Writing Month starts in November! I'm determined to write a chick lit novel. I have no idea what the premise of the novel will be, but I will definitely accomplish 50,000 words this time. I just have to finish up college apps in October so I'll have a little time to fine tune them in November when I'm not typing away at my novel.

I've been looking up laptops for college. I'm going to try to save some money up to add to what my parents will pay for so I can get a really good laptop (so I have the option to play video games... heh).

I got a tumblr the other day. I'm obsessed. It's become like a geeky haven for me. I just reblog Mass Effect things and nerdy humor :P

Besides that, not much has been going on. So I should probably do homework and stuff so I won't have anything weighing me down tomorrow. I don't even have Columbus Day off (I get the day off in February as a part of our President's Week break). And all my teachers decided to give me homework over the weekend since finals week is coming up.

Blah. I'm sure none of the homework is super difficult, but my motivation is waning. Oh well. Ha.
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Winter Winds -- Mumford & Sons
05 September 2011 @ 11:08 am
I love AP Statistics.

At least for now. I have a 100.3% in the class. I don't even remember the last time I had over an A+ in a math class. Maybe in eighth grade with algebra one. Maybe. If anything, it gave me renewed faith in my math skills. Okay, yeah, it was only the third week of school. We only covered six chapters. It's the introduction part of statistics. The easy stuff.

But even knowing that does little to ebb away at my happiness at my grade. I have the highest grade in my class -- a higher grade than the people who are supposedly math-oriented. In the past years, I have associated myself more with English and history than math (although I have never been "bad" at math). In the past years, I've been behind my peers in math classes because my first high school made me retake algebra one (even though I had an A in it during middle school). I'd just tell them that I was bad at math and they would nod sympathetically.

I'm not bad at math. I need to stop telling myself that. Truth be told, I'm decent at math -- even good. I scored the highest on my algebra 2 final out of all of my teacher's classes. He gave me a high five.

People who are bad at math do not score that well on math finals. I think I got something like a 96 percent and my day was made. I think I glowed when he told me my score (and that was not just because he was the most attractive teacher I have ever seen. Certainly not).

But now I'm in a class with people my age and I'm getting good scores. I'm not saying I'm a math genius or anything. I think it's more because I do my homework in a timely fashion and I have a good memory.

Still, this helps me with my confidence when it comes to math related areas. Maybe I'll end up doing something in math as a career. I just wish my future wasn't so cloudy in comparison to everyone else's. It just seems like everybody I know has an idea of what they want to be when they're older. A reason to apply to a certain college. Something like that.

Me, on the other hand -- I have a bunch of options. I could probably do a career in anything. Math, science, English, history, art (but probably not music. My voice/musical talents aren't that great). But I don't know what I want to do. How am I -- a seventeen year old -- supposed to make a lifelong decision when I don't even know the realm of possibilities? I'm too young. I haven't seen the world. I can't possibly make a good decision on what I want to do for the next fifty years of my life when I know so little!

But anyway -- tomorrow is going to be sad in stats class, I'm afraid. We're switching groups, which means I'm separated from my new friends. At the beginning of the year, I might have been happier about this. But Friday, my group and I had an intense bonding session when we were supposed to be working on homework. Ends up one of my friends got a DUI over the summer because he had a blood alcohol level of .025. Yikes. He had been downtown and taken a wrong turn and hadn't drank in hours. My other friend apparently almost got caught by the cops when he was having a heated moment with another guy in a car in an empty parking lot of a park.

Ha. It's just interesting. People are so multifaceted. These were two people that I didn't expect that from, and now... I feel like I judge people too quickly. I'm getting proved wrong left and right.
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: Pumped up Kicks -- Foster the People
30 August 2011 @ 03:18 pm
I am so tired.

I'm getting more sleep than I got last school year, but I keep waking up time after time around five in the morning. I can't stay asleep after that and wake up at six exhausted.

Other than that... Senior year is good. Easy classes, not a ton of homework.

I am in love with the show Awkward. I started watching it on Saturday and ended up watching a marathon of the episodes and now I'm practically obsessed with it. Ahhh. So good.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
26 August 2011 @ 05:00 pm
Yay, happy birthday to me. Finally seventeen!
I made a new banner for Upsilon, which I conveniently renamed when I got an amazing cover made by this person on the NaNo forums. Which is posted under the cut as well. A seriously amazing cover. Anyway, I'm pretty proud of my banner. I might go back into the-dark-arts and start making banners and chapter images and fan fiction fun stuff on my free time. Not that I'm going to be writing any fan fiction. I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed. I'm more of an open-fiction person now. I might upload Upsilon to Wattpad or Fiction Press. Maybe. I have to edit it a lot before that.

Anyway, I'm up to about 53,000 words overall. I wrote 2,700 words yesterday (the first words of the month) and now I'm starting to think that Upsilon will be about 100,000 words. That's huge. HUGE. For me, anyway. Into the Scarlet was only 51,000 words, maybe 52,000 words. That means Upsilon should be around 300 pages, which is also a huge amount considering that Into the Scarlet was about 327 or so with a HUGE font. I'm not making that mistake with Upsilon. I'm going with a size 11 Adobe Garamond Pro font and 1.15 line spacing. Should look good enough on the printed pages.

Weird thing is that I'm working on a deadline for a CreateSpace novel again. I have to have it submitted by September 15, which means I need to get typing away on my novel. And then editing. Major editing. Fast editing. I'm going to have to reread the book like seven times and edit SO MUCH. Vyra is bipolar. She goes from being knowledgeable to snappy to knowledgeable AND snappy. Glyn and Shay are both this way. Nelson and Alison are flat characters, and Cordell is just... Cordell. I don't even know whether he and Vyra have a thing or are going to have a thing, but their flirty banter kills me a little.

And aliens! Shittt. Isi went from being cold toward Shay to caring about him and now she's asking him for his help. And now Shay has to venture off to Coris, the homeworld of Uvino, to stop Luxz from taking advantage of the warring factions and taking over the planet.

But Shay and his crew need to extract the upsilonium...

It's so confusing. I don't even know where I'm going with it! Persephone has this whole political agenda and she was originally supposed to play a HUGE role in the story but now I'm iffy on that. Seems like Shay has a hell of a lot to do, though. He needs to save the world AND expose the government. I suppose Persephone can come back in at the resolution of the story, but that makes her part seem so minuscule.

Right now Cordell just popped into the scene and Shay has some explaining to do about the message from Isi. He has to get to Coris before Luxz. Cordell, I guess, can assure him that they've got the situation on Tundsivin handled. Then Shay can nod and be like, "Alright, well I'll go to Coris with Uvino then." And then Cordell will hesitate and then insist that Shay take Vyra with him for reasons he does not explain. Cordell will use his radio transmitter to contact Vyra and the team and Uvino will follow them as they trek back the cave.

Meanwhile, they use the mining laser and begin extracting the upsilonium. Uvino carries Cordell and then Shay up the mountain because his talons dig into the rock and make it easier for him to maneuver without the need for a harness. Cordell and Shay crawl through the tunnel, explain the situation, and then Vyra, Uvino, and Shay head out. Dun dun dun.

Then this will spark Part 2 of the book. Yes, I think I'm going to make it into different parts. I like that system.

Yay! I'm excited. I can't wait to get a proof copy :P

 Banners! Covers! Upsilon! Oh my!Collapse )
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: O Children - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
18 July 2011 @ 11:22 pm

I hit 41,000 words today with my Camp NaNoWriMo. I am nowhere near close to being done with it. I wrote a 2,000 word scene today. I think I'm just going to call it a short chapter from Vyra's POV.

Basically, the crew of five has landed on Tundsivin. The desert planet. The planet that holds upsilonium (a word I got from upsilon -- the letter Y, which Pythagoras believed to be the branch between good and evil. This ties into my novel nicely. Why? Upsilonium can be used for good or for evil. On Tundsivin, the isotope of upsilonium is reactive. And it's so reactive that heating it (in a reactor?) will cause the entire galaxy to fall to shambles.

Unrealistic, yes. Do I care? No.

Upsilonium on other planets, when put in air filters, eats up the pollution. Thus, it could be used for good or for evil. I kind of like how my mind works sometimes. I'm more creative than I think.

I might just change the title of Plethora to Upsilon. I can imagine this really cool font and cover. I'm kind of excited -- I just need to finish the novel by September 15 so I can get a free proof copy. I NEED a free proof copy. Honestly, I doubt I'll be able to edit it in such a short amount of time if I finish it by August, but it must be done. I don't care if it's crappy. It's my first sci-fi novel. The world needs to be redone. The sci-fi elements need to be enhanced. Vyra needs to stop being so bipolar.
But it's perfectly imperfect. And I want a proof copy more than I want an amazing novel. I'm going to zip through it, edit out any blatant mistakes that I find. I can't promise much more. There are probably gaping plot holes, but oh well. I'm running with it. 
Mostly I'm just excited that I'm 41,000 words deep in a novel when I haven't written that much in almost two years. I'm going to format the novel until it's beautiful and create an amazing book cover and everything. I am so beyond enthusiastic about it. I'm moving at a quick pace of about 2,000 words a day and each day I'm 2,000 words closer to finishing the novel. Finishing my first venture into sci-fi...
I'm going to look at my kissing scenes from both books and compare them (Into the Scarlet and Plethora). I want to know how much I've improved, if any, from actually being kissed.
Probably not, considering my kissing skills leave a lot to be desired.  Ha.

            “I’m so sorry, Simon.”

            “I know,” he responded gravely. I lifted my head away from his shoulder, staring into his eyes. He stared right back. I knew I looked awful — pale and tired — but something sparked inside of me. And then he leaned forward, just barely. I could almost taste his breath as I inhaled. 

His nose nearly touched mine. He was so close, terrifyingly close. Heat rolled off of his body in waves, crashing over me. I felt intoxicated; being so close to me made me feel too much too soon. I moved my face just a centimeter closer to his, our noses finally touching. I sucked in a breath, the water beads on my back mixing with my salty sweat. My mind was racing as his lips slowly brushed mine. I didn’t pull away; I was too caught up in the moment. And even though the back of my mind was telling me, “No, don’t do it, Kera” I decided not to listen to it. I kissed him back, his tongue swirling around mine causing the taste of stale coffee to overpower my mouth. I forcefully thrust my arms around his neck as he pressed me against the door, which slammed shut.

            His lips traveled down my neck, caressing the wet skin there. “Simon, this isn’t right,” I whispered into his ear. I didn’t want to lose the connection between us, but I had to. This wasn’t right. I pushed him away from me. His head dipped.

            “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me,” he apologized, rubbing one of his eyes with his hand. He looked so boyish, so little. My chest tightened.

            “It’s not your fault,” I whispered, wetting my swollen lips. “It’s mine.”

--Excerpt from Into The Scarlet (written 2009, revised 2010)
She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing his face toward her. “I love you,” she breathed. Her hot breath pressed against his face and he inhaled the scent of her floral perfume. He leaned toward her carefully, unsure of himself. Her eyes closed. He broke the distance between them. 

He kissed her. He kissed her with everything that he had. He may not be able to say what he wanted, but he would show her – he’d show her all that she meant to him. She was like a breath of fresh air after going too long without oxygen. His hands moved to each side of her face, pressing her closer to him. He teased her with a brief swirl of his tongue. She fought back, drawing his moist tongue farther into her mouth. Warmth spread throughout his body like wildfire, electricity zinging across his skin. God, he couldn’t get enough of her. She was like a drug in herself – addicting and dangerous yet altogether euphoric and mind-blowing.

Shay pulled away, only to move to her exposed neck. She shivered against him as he trailed passionate kisses along the slope of her neck. He sucked lightly on her skin. Gasping, she ran her fingers in his hair as he brought his mouth to her cheek. He laid a soft peck on her cheekbone and then reluctantly shifted away. He didn’t want to stop. He could forego air if he could stay nary an inch away from her.
Glyn looked at him with wide eyes. She was breathless and she was beautiful. “I think,” she started, catching her breath, “if you were here all the time, I wouldn’t need drugs.”
--Excerpt from Plethora (2011)
Clearly I still leave a lot to be desired in my kissing scenes. I'm going to go over it when I revise and hopefully add lots of tension. I don't know. Maybe I'll read a lot of good kissing scenes and take some tips from them. I just want some hot anticipation and all that crap. Like those romance novels I've read one too many times.
Maybe I just need to add tension and take away all the little kisses they had before that. Ha.
But I will have Plethora in my hands. I will have a book. A glorious, glorious book. Eeek! I can't wait.
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: Desert Rain -- Edward Maya ft. Vika Jigulina, Moves Like Jagger -- Maroon 5
12 July 2011 @ 12:24 am
 My Camp NaNoWriMo characters are becoming increasingly difficult to hate.

Namely Glyn. I think she has become my favorite character, and now I'm going to go like forever without her being in a chapter because Shay's about to embark on his journey to uncharted desert planet. This is KILLING me. Because I just wrote the best kissing scene I have ever written (and okay, I've written kissing scenes in fan fic and in my NaNoWriMo '09 and I don't think either of them were exceptionally good, so the comparison might be moot) yet Glyn loves Shay way too much to ask him to stay with her. 

She doesn't think he could be happy with her. And Shay would never admit to being in love with Glyn. Hell, I don't even know if he is. At first I thought he was going to pair up with Persephone, but then I added Vyra in the third paragraph of the story and everyone's insistence that there is nothing romantic between them makes me want to give 'em some romance.

That would be terrible though. Especially after that steamy moment between Shay and Glyn. Gah! Why do I do this to myself? I'm so pumped up for writing, though. 27,852 words according to Camp NaNoWriMo. Eek! I am just beyond excited. I'm hoping this ends up a lot longer than 50,000 words because I am so freaking in love with my characters it's ridiculous. Shay has become a lot more than Seventh Sanctum's original "hateful space navigator" and Persephone is still a secondary character and less a "pessimistic philosopher" and more a "political activist." 
Glyn was supposed to be a prostitute and a druggie! Instead she's just a druggie and actually works a respectable job as a waitress at a fifties diner in Liborcur.
God. Shoot me now. I am obsessed with my story and it's not even great. I do realize that I only have like two male characters in the entire story. I'm going to need to add a few on this new expedition and make some major character out of one of them. I feel like if I don't, Shay's going to have a harem of girls. We need some dude to step in. A dude with swarthy good looks ;)
Eeeek. So much to write, so much to write! I wrote 3,000 words today/yesterday. I was so proud. I just can't believe how my fingers are warming up to this story. I might actually be past the week two road block. Yay! 
Alright that's it for now. I need to curl up and read a chapter of Pandora by Anne Rice and then get to bed.
And I started Mass Effect 2 again. Someone needs to remove me from that game because it's my third playthrough. Renegade FemShep! 
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Maroon 5
10 July 2011 @ 01:44 pm
This morning I stood against our height measuring poster. I jokingly asked my dad to measure me. "68 inches," he said. "What's that, five foot six?" 

I thought he was reading the poster wrong. "No. Really. What does it say? 66 inches?"

Ends up I'm 67.75 inches tall. I'm nearly five foot eight. 

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? I was nearly five foot seven for two years (the last time we measured).
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: Stereo Love Violin Cover by PLJ
20 June 2011 @ 04:20 pm
So in order to get a better idea of what my characters look like for Plethora, I have decided to draw character sketches because I have nothing better to do. I did Shay's. Besides the lighting being a bit off and the bottom part of his face being a good deal darker than the top (which I am going to blame on five o'clock shadow and not my artistic abilities) I'm pretty proud of it. It also gives me a better idea of what he looks like and although the dimple didn't come out as I could have hoped... meh. I've drawn a lot worse.

Character sketch here...Collapse )

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Current Mood: artisticartistic
Current Music: I'm not Calling you a Liar -- Florence and the Machine